Reply to Re: New DMOD concept - feedback please
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Hello Dinkers. I'm Tim Maurer. Nearly fifteen years ago I made some really terrible DMODs (the Dink Forever Trilogy, 2001: A Dink Odyssey and All Out Brawl). When I say really terrible, I mean it. I had no clue what I was doing. Later, I made some DMODs that were better (they're still on the site) but still, quite frankly, not very good. I mean, I don't recommend playing them. If anybody still has my old DMODs, by the way (I don't), feel free to release them to the community so they can imagine what it was like when there were only a few DMODs out there and you downloaded one on your dial-up connection only to be incredibly disappointed.
Over seven years ago I made this topic intending to make a comeback and redeem myself, but this was not to be because, as I realized when I opened up the map editor, I really am worthless at map design. I can't wrap my mind around designing spaces at all. I've actually been diagnosed with a learning disability that might explain this.
I did, however, write some text for this DMOD before giving up. I'm posting it here now because... I don't know, I'm crazy? I don't think anyone even remembers this topic. I guess I just thought fondly back on my days in the Dink community, worthless as I was at making DMODs, and wanted some excuse to post here again.
Text below.
"Dink Smallwood: Back On Top"
OR
"Dink's Midlife Crisis"
Caption: Having decided long ago to give up adventuring, Dink has settled in the village of Adell.
(Show screens of village)
We join our hero at his pastoral home, where he has lived for several years with his wife, Sarah.
(Focus on house)
They live a peaceful life. Perhaps too peaceful...
(Int. house)
Dink: ...Sigh.
Sarah: Dink, dear, would you feed the pigs? We want them to be nice and healthy for the show next week.
Dink: Yeah, sure. Be right back.
(Dink goes outside, starts to feed pigs.)
Dink: Heeere piggy piggies! Time for dinner.
(Kid walks onto screen.)
Dink: That's it... good girl.
Kid: Haw haw! Havin' a good time with them pigs, mister?
Dink: ...
(Turns)
Shut up, runt, before I tear you a new one.
Kid: Whatever! At least I'm not a pig farmer!
Dink (As kid walks off screen): Hey! I am not...
(pause)
Dink: A...
(pause)
Dink: ...
Pig: Oink.
(music gets dramatic)
Dink: Is this what it's come to? After all I've done... after everything I've been... I'm back to being a dang pig farmer?
Dammit, I've saved the world, haven't I? Or something like that! Several times, if memory serves!
(Triumphant music)
Well, I'm coming back. Dink will adventure again!
(change screen to inside of home, dink walks in fast.)
Dink: WOMAN! I'm going on a quest! Don't try to stop me!
Sarah: You? The last five or six times someone was around shopping for a hero, you hid in the closet!
Dink: ...Well, it's true I've been more satisfied with the simple life for a while.
But now, my boredom and fear of my impending mortality have finally caught up with my apathy and laziness! I crave adventure!
Sarah: Oh, so you're having a midlife crisis.
(pause)
Dink: Do you really have to put it that way?
Sarah: Actually, "mid" is kind of charitable.
Anyway, whatever. I don't care if you go out and play hero for a while, as long as you're back in time for the farm show.
Dink: That's more like it! Here I come, world!
(reveal stats)
Dink: ...dang, level 1? Have I been slacking off THAT long? My stats are terrible.
Sarah: ..."stats"? "Level 1?" What are you talking about, hon?
Dink: Never mind.
Sarah: Well, don't forget your sword, it's in the basement.
(unfreeze)
*SCRIPT FOR PUNCHING DINK'S WIFE*
Sarah (runs to the other side of the room): Dink! What the hell?
Dink: I'm sick of you degrading me and treating me like a fool! I don't get enough respect from you!
Sarah: So that means you can HIT me?
Dink: ...
(pause)
Sarah: Think very carefully about what you're doing. I'm not going to let you treat me like this.
The only reason I'm even saying this to you instead of going out the door right now is because I don't think you're really like this.
I think the bullshoot macho trip you're on right now has got you acting like a caveman. But that's not going to work, Dink.
(pause)
I need you to apologize.
*CHOICE*
- I'm sorry.
{
Dink: I'm sorry. I got so caught up in pride... I didn't really want to hurt you.
Sarah: Just don't do it again.
(moves closer)
Sarah: Listen, I think you should go look for a quest, if that'll make you happy. Just... come back home to me.
Dink: Okay.
&wifebeater += 1;
(end sequence)
}
- I don't have to apologize.
{
Dink: Why should I apologize? I was putting you in your place.
&wifebeater += 2;
GOTO goodbye
}
IF YOU PUNCH HER AGAIN AFTER APOLOGIZING:
Sarah: AAAAAH! Stop it, stop it!
Dink: The more I thought about the kitty way I said I was sorry, the more it made me sick!
I shouldn't have to stoop for you!
Sarah: We're through! I'm leaving!
&wifebeater += 1;
GOTO goodbye
goodbye:
(Sarah goes near exit, stops, turns)
Sarah: I can't believe you've done this... I thought you loved me...
(short pause)
(Dink takes a short step forward)
(Sarah runs away)
CHOICE:
"what have I done?"
Dink: What have I done? I... she was my wife...
"who needs her?"
Dink: she dog. It's about time I laid down the law.
Raving Looney Guild:
Geezer: WHEEE DEE DEE DEE DEE! So, you wanna join the guild, eh?
Choice:
"No."
"Good lord, No."
"I'll pass, thanks."
"Um?"
if um:
That's the spirit, sonny! If'n you wanna join, first you gots ta kill me some ducks!
Oooo, I HATES them ducks! Always goin' around quackin', they're makin' fun o' me!
Dink: Uh... how many? 30?
G: More!
D: 50?
G:More! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOOOD!
D: ....70?
G: 72! Go on and kill me 72 ducks, youngin'!
talk:
D: Why do you keep calling me youngin'? I'm 50.
G: 50? You're a newborn babe! Why, my great-granddaughter's 54!
D:...
Adventurer's Guild:
Knight: So, what kind of experience do you have with hero work?
Dink: Well, I killed Seth of the Ancients, thereby saving the universe.
K: My goodness... you're Dink Smallwood?
D: Finally, someone's heard of me!
K: Oh yes, we keep close tabs on the activities of heroes and adventurers.
We weren't as much of an institution, but we were around even then.
Hmm. The community hasn't heard anything out of you in many years, Smallwood.
D: I've been out of the game, but I wanna come back.
K: Could you detail the rest of your hero experience?
D: Well, I saved a girl from an evil cult, saved a town from starvation,
Killed FIAT, another ancient, Blew up a Cast stronghold,
Reunited Mill Vanilli,
(green) smashed LOTS of barrels...
Destroyed the Idol of No Hands, defeated several evil wizards...
(fade down)
half an hour later...
(fade up)
D: ...and fetched some cheese for King Daniel.
K: Impressive! So, how old are you, Smallwood?
D: Um. Do you really have to know?
K: Come, what will we put on your adventurer's license?
D: ...Fifty.
K: Hmm. Normally that's past our age limit for new initiates,
But for you, we'll make an exception.
You'll still have to do our standard initiation quest, however.
Just want to make sure you've still got what it takes!
Crime Guild:
Door: What do you want?
Dink: I'm interested in joining your guild.
Door: You? I don't think so. You don't look mean enough.
I'll bet you've never killed an innocent man...
Dink: Well, not RECENTLY...
Door: You've probably never indulged in some good old-fashioned wife beating...
Dink: Well, no.
Door: I bet you haven't even stolen anything!
Dink: Does filesharing count?
Door: Get lost.
Over seven years ago I made this topic intending to make a comeback and redeem myself, but this was not to be because, as I realized when I opened up the map editor, I really am worthless at map design. I can't wrap my mind around designing spaces at all. I've actually been diagnosed with a learning disability that might explain this.
I did, however, write some text for this DMOD before giving up. I'm posting it here now because... I don't know, I'm crazy? I don't think anyone even remembers this topic. I guess I just thought fondly back on my days in the Dink community, worthless as I was at making DMODs, and wanted some excuse to post here again.
Text below.
"Dink Smallwood: Back On Top"
OR
"Dink's Midlife Crisis"
Caption: Having decided long ago to give up adventuring, Dink has settled in the village of Adell.
(Show screens of village)
We join our hero at his pastoral home, where he has lived for several years with his wife, Sarah.
(Focus on house)
They live a peaceful life. Perhaps too peaceful...
(Int. house)
Dink: ...Sigh.
Sarah: Dink, dear, would you feed the pigs? We want them to be nice and healthy for the show next week.
Dink: Yeah, sure. Be right back.
(Dink goes outside, starts to feed pigs.)
Dink: Heeere piggy piggies! Time for dinner.
(Kid walks onto screen.)
Dink: That's it... good girl.
Kid: Haw haw! Havin' a good time with them pigs, mister?
Dink: ...
(Turns)
Shut up, runt, before I tear you a new one.
Kid: Whatever! At least I'm not a pig farmer!
Dink (As kid walks off screen): Hey! I am not...
(pause)
Dink: A...
(pause)
Dink: ...
Pig: Oink.
(music gets dramatic)
Dink: Is this what it's come to? After all I've done... after everything I've been... I'm back to being a dang pig farmer?
Dammit, I've saved the world, haven't I? Or something like that! Several times, if memory serves!
(Triumphant music)
Well, I'm coming back. Dink will adventure again!
(change screen to inside of home, dink walks in fast.)
Dink: WOMAN! I'm going on a quest! Don't try to stop me!
Sarah: You? The last five or six times someone was around shopping for a hero, you hid in the closet!
Dink: ...Well, it's true I've been more satisfied with the simple life for a while.
But now, my boredom and fear of my impending mortality have finally caught up with my apathy and laziness! I crave adventure!
Sarah: Oh, so you're having a midlife crisis.
(pause)
Dink: Do you really have to put it that way?
Sarah: Actually, "mid" is kind of charitable.
Anyway, whatever. I don't care if you go out and play hero for a while, as long as you're back in time for the farm show.
Dink: That's more like it! Here I come, world!
(reveal stats)
Dink: ...dang, level 1? Have I been slacking off THAT long? My stats are terrible.
Sarah: ..."stats"? "Level 1?" What are you talking about, hon?
Dink: Never mind.
Sarah: Well, don't forget your sword, it's in the basement.
(unfreeze)
*SCRIPT FOR PUNCHING DINK'S WIFE*
Sarah (runs to the other side of the room): Dink! What the hell?
Dink: I'm sick of you degrading me and treating me like a fool! I don't get enough respect from you!
Sarah: So that means you can HIT me?
Dink: ...
(pause)
Sarah: Think very carefully about what you're doing. I'm not going to let you treat me like this.
The only reason I'm even saying this to you instead of going out the door right now is because I don't think you're really like this.
I think the bullshoot macho trip you're on right now has got you acting like a caveman. But that's not going to work, Dink.
(pause)
I need you to apologize.
*CHOICE*
- I'm sorry.
{
Dink: I'm sorry. I got so caught up in pride... I didn't really want to hurt you.
Sarah: Just don't do it again.
(moves closer)
Sarah: Listen, I think you should go look for a quest, if that'll make you happy. Just... come back home to me.
Dink: Okay.
&wifebeater += 1;
(end sequence)
}
- I don't have to apologize.
{
Dink: Why should I apologize? I was putting you in your place.
&wifebeater += 2;
GOTO goodbye
}
IF YOU PUNCH HER AGAIN AFTER APOLOGIZING:
Sarah: AAAAAH! Stop it, stop it!
Dink: The more I thought about the kitty way I said I was sorry, the more it made me sick!
I shouldn't have to stoop for you!
Sarah: We're through! I'm leaving!
&wifebeater += 1;
GOTO goodbye
goodbye:
(Sarah goes near exit, stops, turns)
Sarah: I can't believe you've done this... I thought you loved me...
(short pause)
(Dink takes a short step forward)
(Sarah runs away)
CHOICE:
"what have I done?"
Dink: What have I done? I... she was my wife...
"who needs her?"
Dink: she dog. It's about time I laid down the law.
Raving Looney Guild:
Geezer: WHEEE DEE DEE DEE DEE! So, you wanna join the guild, eh?
Choice:
"No."
"Good lord, No."
"I'll pass, thanks."
"Um?"
if um:
That's the spirit, sonny! If'n you wanna join, first you gots ta kill me some ducks!
Oooo, I HATES them ducks! Always goin' around quackin', they're makin' fun o' me!
Dink: Uh... how many? 30?
G: More!
D: 50?
G:More! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOOOD!
D: ....70?
G: 72! Go on and kill me 72 ducks, youngin'!
talk:
D: Why do you keep calling me youngin'? I'm 50.
G: 50? You're a newborn babe! Why, my great-granddaughter's 54!
D:...
Adventurer's Guild:
Knight: So, what kind of experience do you have with hero work?
Dink: Well, I killed Seth of the Ancients, thereby saving the universe.
K: My goodness... you're Dink Smallwood?
D: Finally, someone's heard of me!
K: Oh yes, we keep close tabs on the activities of heroes and adventurers.
We weren't as much of an institution, but we were around even then.
Hmm. The community hasn't heard anything out of you in many years, Smallwood.
D: I've been out of the game, but I wanna come back.
K: Could you detail the rest of your hero experience?
D: Well, I saved a girl from an evil cult, saved a town from starvation,
Killed FIAT, another ancient, Blew up a Cast stronghold,
Reunited Mill Vanilli,
(green) smashed LOTS of barrels...
Destroyed the Idol of No Hands, defeated several evil wizards...
(fade down)
half an hour later...
(fade up)
D: ...and fetched some cheese for King Daniel.
K: Impressive! So, how old are you, Smallwood?
D: Um. Do you really have to know?
K: Come, what will we put on your adventurer's license?
D: ...Fifty.
K: Hmm. Normally that's past our age limit for new initiates,
But for you, we'll make an exception.
You'll still have to do our standard initiation quest, however.
Just want to make sure you've still got what it takes!
Crime Guild:
Door: What do you want?
Dink: I'm interested in joining your guild.
Door: You? I don't think so. You don't look mean enough.
I'll bet you've never killed an innocent man...
Dink: Well, not RECENTLY...
Door: You've probably never indulged in some good old-fashioned wife beating...
Dink: Well, no.
Door: I bet you haven't even stolen anything!
Dink: Does filesharing count?
Door: Get lost.
