The Dink Network

From a very early age, you knew what you wanted to be. You had your heart set, and your mind ready, to become a hermit. Your father, Captain Monies, was a very wealthy man, whose fame and riches were the very things that turned you away from the glamorous lifestyle, and to a more isolated one. Although you despised your first job, you toughed it out, knowing it was only to line your pockets with a bit of money so you could afford a cabin and supplies. On one of your numerous hikes in search of a sufficient place to spend the rest of your life, you discovered one of your own kind. Hermit McBeardybeard, he was called, with crazy eyes and whiskers down to his shabby, pig-scented trousers. You approached his cabin with caution, knowing that, although you intended to follow in their footsteps, hermits had a tendency to strangle you with their beards and kick you in the shins. You hesitantly knocked, three times, on the fading oak door, and awaited the response. Your wait was not long, and the door soon flung open, revealing Hermit McBeardybeard to your for the first time. His eyes wandered this way and that, but eventually settled on your frightened, awestruck face.
With a shouting, rough voice that surprised even you, he said, "IF YOU DON'T HAVE THIN MINT COOKIES LIKE THOSE GIRLY SCOUTS THEN GET OFF MY PROP'TY!"
Although your wits had been scared out of you long ago, your mind was functioning at a high enough level to realize one thing: This was the man you wanted to become, and you would let nothing stop you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm guessing about 86% of that is accurate?