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February 20th 2011, 03:48 PM
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Kyle
Peasant He/Him Belgium
 
Some more:

"seemed to have survived from the demons' attack." --- Survived the demon's attack.
"continued through the barracks, soon arriving to the other side of the castle." --- At the other side
"in a somewhat unfamiliar outside appearance." --- Outward appearance.
"who was guarding at the Council Room's door" --- Get rid tof the "at".
"a big table in the center, layed on a blue carpet." --- I honestly can't tell what this is supposed to mean. Do you mean the table is on top of a blue carpet?
"with some white hairs in the middle of his bald" --- Forgot the word hair after bald?
"examining some pergaments" --- As far as I know pergaments is not an existing English word. I think you mean parchment, or vellum.
"She then paused for a few seconds, clearly to everybody in the room, thinking long and hard before saying her next words." --- Not sure what the middle part is supposed to mean, but the way it's written now is very unclear. Do you mean that it's clear to everyone in the room that she is thinking hard?

Perhaps more some other time