The Dink Network

It has come to my attention that the DN can be used as a place to share your writing. So, this is a poem I made that serves as an intro to a book I'm writing. I hardly ever to poetry, so if the grammar is off or something I wasn't sure. The book revolves around soldiers, by the way, I'm not saying anymore since 3/4 of things hyped on the DN don't come out...but I digress.

Theirs is a bond
Stronger than steel
Surpassing that of brothers
Deeper still; the invincible connection
Forged in fate; reinforced by insurmountable trust
Deeper than their souls
Greater than their minds
They stand united
Spreading peace; through flames and destruction
Threatened by obliteration;
Tested by apocalyptic circumstances
Yet they tower over their enemies;
An unbreakable barrier of fortitude and willpower
Theirs is a union
Built for both war, and peace
They are not without niches in their armor;
They do not show;
One’s flaw is protected by another’s strength;
They fight an enemy both efficient and numerous;
And meet their gaze with the courage of an army
They journey forth, their mission sealed by fate;
Somewhere they fight,
Unsung heroes who defend us from evil;
Who avenge the screams of the dying
They are few,
They are strong,
They are Unseen.

It doesn't rhyme.

Here is my proposition for improvement:

Theirs is a bond
Stronger than gold
Surpassing that of brothers
Deeper still; the invincible mothers
Forged in fate; reinforced by insurmountable others

a poems do not have to rhyme.
if ,however, it does not it should at least have a philosophical meaning

I agree, poems don't have to rhyme at all to be evocative

It doesn't rhyem (sooo over rhymes)

Here's my suggestion for improvement: blood, sweat and tears... probably visit the war memorial, talk to ex-soldats etc as well - research is an invaluable asset that will put you a notch above the rest.

They're fighting zombies. I know it's the same principle, but zombies are hard to research seriously.

I rather liked this pilly, (seriously) well done

Thanks

You ninja poster you! lol

Interesting, but I agree with some of the other comments. Personally I don't see this as a poem just yet, but with either Rhyming or some other chosen language twister to fuse it with, you could have a very good start to that book.

Also, you're writing a book on Zombies? Please god, no...

There are many different types of poems - rhyming is only one,you can also have rhyming on every 2nd 4th 6th line and so on... its not a poem only because it rhymes

Lol Ex-Death

They're alien zombies if that makes it better. XD

MsDink is right, you can have many types of poems. Though pretty much all the poems I write have to rhyme because rhyme is pretty much obligatory at Sinterklaas.

Poetry is a form of art, and just like with paintings you have modern art too. Maybe you like it, maybe you don't but essentially everything that tries to say something using language as a form of art is a poem. Generally I feel that the meter of a poem is the most important, but I suppose everyone will feel different about this.

Just like a song - I'm sure that's what makes Shakespeare's works so gloriful; the rythm and meter.

Good ol' Blake was heavy on the rhyme, but this one is all about rythm:

A Divine Image
Cruelty has a human heart,
And Jealousy a human face;
Terror the human form divine,
And secrecy the human dress.

The human dress is forged iron,
The human form a fiery forge,
The human face a furnace seal'd,
The human heart its hungry gorge.

In the summer,
in the fall,
comes a boy, with a ball.

Through the winter,
through the spring,

I... like to sing?

Puppets are nice,
but they have lice!

No Nancy, wait!
you forgot your bait!

Dink Smallwood
has a big hood.

.. yeah.

There once was a man from madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. When he'd bang 'em together they'd play stormy weather and lightning would shoot from his ass.

This is a binman limerick... sort of.

Tim Finnegan's a binman.
Jim Linehan's his assistant.
Tim Finnegan's sixty.
Jim Linehan isn't.

Tim Finnegan flings dirt in bins.
Jim Linehan shirks his stint.
Tim Finnegan irks at him, if
Jim Linehan isn't tipping.

Tim fills bins with dirt and lint;
Jim sits scribbling riddles in slips.
Tim hits him with vigour in the chin.
Jim gives him a glimpse, "Fiddlesticks!"
Or something similar.

Tim picks litter and filth with his stick.
Jim gives him the slip and nicks his stick.
Jim is riddled with guilt. Basis?:
Tim irked is a big, big risk.

Tim brings his dinner drink with him.
Jim thinks the drink is his, drinks.
Jim, twigs it isn't, spits it in the bin.
Tim flings the drinks tin at him.
Cyclic, isn't it?

Jim Linehan is in a fix.
Tim Finnegan's nitpicked his business:
"Jim Linehan's a persistent jinx!"
Tim wishes Jim dismissed.

Tim Finnegan's a deliberate snitch.
His business kicks him from the district.
Jim Linehan's considered innocent.
This is typical in this kingdom.
Still, spilt milk, Tim, isn't it?

omwtf!!

if you give a dog a dookie, he'll eat it straight up.
he'll ask for nothing more, except maybe a cup.

Gedichte sind saugt.

@ Skull - I like that better then the "picture is worth 1000 words" one