The Dink Network


Uhm... Well nice
July 20th, 2005
Score : 8.3 good
Noble Male United States xbox steam
Super Sexy Tal Pal 
Progeny, one of three entries into the Weird D-Mod Contest, is certainly a departure from the norm. The game could be considered a version of Space Invaders developed to fulfill a fetishist's (or, SimonK's) strangest sexual fantasies, thus eliminating it from the to-download list of the easily offended. For those of us with an odd sense of humor and broad taste (sexual or otherwise), though, the title certainly fills a niche.

The gameplay involves shooting Dink's sperm into various orifices resembling private female areas. Based on your timing, your sperm will either bounce off or fill the pseudo-genitalia, the latter causing them to disappear from the game screen. Collecting stamina potions allow you to generate and shoot sperm even more quickly, translating to an increasingly easier time ridding the game of the reproductive organs. Similar to a typical Dink adventure, eliminating enough opposition will reward you with experience, which you gain character levels from. A level in this game translates to another inch of Dink's, uh, "dink" length, and while I don't recall this having any actual benefit for the player, the wit that accompanies each level gain is laugh-out-loud funny. (I managed to reach 10 inches... now, if only I could achieve that in real life.) The game introduces new obstacles with each new level, including harmful cells which bounce diagonally (STDs?) and chastity belts which must be unlocked with keys. Much like the arcade games of yesteryear, the simplicity of the gameplay still translates to plenty of fun.

The audio and visuals are executed well, with sexual content that is certainly adequate for the game. As with most of SimonK's work, the new graphics are absolutely excellent, depicting objects of the sexual process in an amusing manner. The music and sound are also mostly good, with an amusing selection of mainstream tunes and orgasmic moans. My only tiff with the audio was the sound of sperm bouncing off of an object, particularly with my speakers cranked; it was somewhat irritating.

Though the game is solid overall, there were moments where it bothered me. Random sprites will occasionally go much faster than they should, which was especially annoying when I was trying to shoot sperm and it would zoom across the screen (though the original Dink has the same problem with fireballs, so I will assume that it's the engine). Firing sperm/keys at anything on the edges of the screen proved to be aggravating, as well. Also, unlocking the chastity belts seemed unusually difficult to me, as if the timing was incorrectly configured or some such thing. Or maybe I just suck at this game. The game is also quite short for my liking; I enjoy this well enough to play it for more than 15-20 minutes, but it only lasts for that long.

Those minor issues don't detract very much from the experience, however. Overall, Progeny is an.. intimately satisfying D-Mod, with an interesting concept and great graphics to boot. If you don't object to loads of sexual content, then Progeny may cause your pants to be moist. Praise SimonK for another strangely amusing, if short and slightly problematic, project.
February 16th, 2010
Score : 0.5 horrible
Peasant Male
I Bring Tidings of Spam 
SimonK has made a lot of great DMODs, and Graphic packs. This is the worst of his work, and one of the worst DMODs of all time, in my opinion.
I'm guessing the story is Dink randomly decides to do random clitorises out of boredom.
Absolutely disgusting and unpleasing to listen too. Every time you hit clitorises, Dink and or the women moan. I rather like to play this game muted. In this case, it isn't a problem for me because my sound is broken (have to use different speakers).
Mapping and Scripting
The Mapping: Boring and lazily mapped out. I know this is supposed to be a shoot 'em up style game, with a spacey setting, but this goes overboard. The stages are nothing but black screens filled with body parts.
The Scripting: I'm stunned. Being this is SimonK, i thought there would be no errors. I found I was wrong. I'll list my problems with the game:
1: Sperm bounces off everything. Clitorises, other sperms, power-ups, and even nothing!
2: Some clitorises can be very hard to hit. The speed of the clitorises, sperms, and power-ups are never consistent. You can never build up a strategy because everything moves at a different speed all the time.
3: Sperms can be shot, and never appear in front of Dink. Instead they just disappear on the top of the screen and explode for no reason.
4: Loads of lag.
Overall and Final Comments
Overall this DMOD is crap, disgusting, and only fun for about two rounds.
May 21st, 2006
Score : 8.5 good
Peasant Male United States xbox steam
The world could always use more heroes 
Progency. Weird. Creepy.

Good: SimonK did a great job on the new graphics. No bugs found. Adult humor. Graphics include keys, things that look like eyeballs, sperm thingies. Short for a maybe 20 minute diversion or so.

Not super good: Almost nothing. Just the creepiness of the game itself. It gets a bit repetitive after a while.

Story/Plot: Well, none but you shoot the sperm and hit the eyeball thingies while the "eye lids" are open.
Midis: Many, and most of them are appropriate for this game.
Graphics: Lots of new that are really awesome.
Lasting Appeal: Nice, short, fun.
Overall: A good weird D-Mod. Fun for the most part. Everyone will love this game even though it is creepy. Another great D-Mod by SimonK. Have fun!