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July 29th 2008, 03:40 PM
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DaVince
Peasant He/Him Netherlands
Olde Time Dinkere 
You're starting to get better. The same thing still repeats a lot, but at least it stops to take a breather here and there and gives more variation in instrumentation.

Now, if you could add a complete overthrow of the melody/tone height somewhere in the middle and then switch back to the main melody, it'd make it even nicer. Maybe some more variation in the tone height of the bass part too.

Edit: Here are some suggestions, maybe?