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Reply to Re: The Staffers are Lazy People With Soda Machines in their Basements

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June 13th 2006, 08:47 PM
Noble United States steam
Daniel, there are clowns. 
Well, first, you must open a portal to the Plane of Carbonated Beverages (not to be confused with the Plane of Carbon Dated Bevages) by placing 13 of each of your desired beverages in an aluminum box (the larger the better) and offering them to Pep'se, Elder God of Gastronimical Eruptions. You do this by dressing up as either Brittney Spears or Ray Charles by dancing and chanting the devine mantra's he finds most pleasing, such as "You got the right one baby, Uh HUH!" or "Bah bah bah bah baaah!" (the exact wording of this phrase is neigh unspeakable in mortal tongue). You do this until you have passed out from exhaustion and thirst... if Pep'se is so pleased, he may grant you with your own soda machine.