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July 7th 2005, 08:24 PM
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Tal
Noble He/Him United States
Super Sexy Tal Pal 
Nice. There are a handful of spelling/grammar errors and the occasional missing word, but it's written well enough that you can forgive the few mistakes and fill in the blanks. The story itself seems fairly well-written and intriguing, and I hope you manage to share more, but I think it would be beneficial (for me, at least) to have a chapter to introduce some of the characters and their traits, or at least descriptions appearing as the characters surface.

I like it.