Reply to Re: Semester Fleece
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Solly charlie. I like Wound For Torment better, though they are both great stories. This story had more meanderings and didn't flow as well.
Now redink, I insist. It was cool. The character's name being omitted is really good. You may or may not have consciously intended it (I think you did) but it is a subtle psychological nudge to a slightly sinister mood-of the-story feeling. Cool. Don't argue.
"Psychology book, basically describes every mental illness, symptoms, etc"
Yep, figured that was it after a few. It was a Psych prof's office. Now if he had "Debbie Does Dallas" on his shelves..... Caramba
"My attempts were to convey that the narrator was in a state of shock"
That came across so you didn't miss the mark. However, This character as you profiled him had balls of steel. (eek, hope my mother doesn't read this) So his complete disintegration was unreal. What happened to wanting to feel alive for a change? The ending felt like you didn't know how to end it so you just threw that in there. Flatly. Nothing.
Still and all, great story.
Now redink, I insist. It was cool. The character's name being omitted is really good. You may or may not have consciously intended it (I think you did) but it is a subtle psychological nudge to a slightly sinister mood-of the-story feeling. Cool. Don't argue.
"Psychology book, basically describes every mental illness, symptoms, etc"
Yep, figured that was it after a few. It was a Psych prof's office. Now if he had "Debbie Does Dallas" on his shelves..... Caramba
"My attempts were to convey that the narrator was in a state of shock"
That came across so you didn't miss the mark. However, This character as you profiled him had balls of steel. (eek, hope my mother doesn't read this) So his complete disintegration was unreal. What happened to wanting to feel alive for a change? The ending felt like you didn't know how to end it so you just threw that in there. Flatly. Nothing.
Still and all, great story.
