Reply to Re: You've played Dink too much when...
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April 5th 2005, 10:37 PM
faster
You actually try butt-stomping.
You have a screaming need for fireball magic when you get into a snit.
166. You find yourself obsessed with finding green tights and red armbands when you shop for clothes.
167. You can't function well without consulting Martridge.
168. You are startled to see little girls without big flower baskets and long skirts.
169. You wonder why sex sans foreplay makes Dink a stud and makes women run from you.
170. When you enter the room for an important meeting, you expect to see a flickering, "Please Wait" flash above the door.
171. You feel cheated, without slurpers to clean up the raw eggs you just dropped.
172. You've discovered - too late - that butt-stomping can't be done in those green tights you finally found.
173. You expect ducks, pigs and trees to talk to you, and wonder why people scream and run...
174. You think it's de rigeur to carry a bag of pig feed wherever you go.
175. When you get paid, you're listening for that pretty "tinkle."
176. You wonder why the bottle you're looking for doesn't bounce.
177. When you talk to people the way Dink does, you lose friends.
178. You go around saying, "bite me." (Or just "bite" for short.)
179. Why don't those green tights look as good on you?
180. You can't find a single tiny man in a blue starry robe and tall pointy hat to help you with your problems.
181. When you go onto vacant land, you're looking for slayers, slimes and pillbugs.
182. When you find a real scorpion in your house, you try to punch it - and get stung.
183. You've burned every pine tree for miles around and haven't found a single secret cache.
184. You carry a walkman, so you can listen to .mid files while you go through life.
185. You go around hitting everything, even graves!
186. You know your wife plays Dink too much when she runs off with a dude named Milder.
187. So you change your name to Flatstomp.
188. At times of momentous decisions, you look for the savebot.
189. When you're told, "the boss wants to see you," you try arm your Thunderstrike and Clawsword, and check your stats.
190. You forget how to sit down.
191. You really get off when you can put on blue boots and wiggle like mad.
192. You put on a blue jacket and expect to be able to walk through fire. (And wonder how you ended up in the burn ward.)
193. If Dink can jump off cliffs, why did you end up with two broken legs? (You're now glad you didn't try it first on the Grand Canyon.)
194. Women wearing burkas look more real to you than American women do.
195. You lust for bonca meat. Or bonca jerky.
196. You think you should be saving the world, and quit your job to go adventuring.
197. You piss publicly, or in pisspots in churches (whoops, it was the wine chalice, and now you've got some...explaining to do).
198. You think members of the Cast are following you everywhere.
199. You join the Cast, only to discover that all they do is pour molten metal into molds, or they expect you to memorize lines for some stupid play.
200. You forget you have a car. But sometimes you look for a teleport machine.
201. You never eat anything but hams and french bread, and a very occasional pie.
202. You still haven't found the king's castle in town, but are still looking.
203. You laugh when you see photos of Queen Elizabeth. Her name isn't Daniel, and her thighs aren't fat. And she's beardless, too!
204. You try treating a barmaid the way Dink does, and the bouncer gives you a taste of his HP.
205. You live in a volcanic area and wonder (in the hospital) how that cool cave you crawled into turned out to be a fumarole.
206. You already know that pillbugs and ducks have been plotting revenge for years, but the CIA won't listen to you.
207. You enjoy putting chameleons on plaid cloth, and try assuring the little Basilisk that you have enough honor. But he's hiding his scales; there isn't a single one visible, and he's not talking.
208. You decide you have to resolve to stop hitting your bosses just to find out what they're really thinking. You're tired of workmen's comp.
209. You fantasize about going to bed with Cthunik. Or that mermaid...
210. Why doesn't the local brothel have someone like Morganna?
211. You pick up every green mushroom you can find. And eat it.
212. Your best line to pick up a girl is to ask, "Are you free? (Wink Wink)"
213. You try using the scroll in Lyna to resuscitate a dead loved one.
214. You often speak in riddles and puns. People shun you.
215. Your doctor asked you how you broke all the bones in your hand, but didn't seem to know what a stone monster was.
216. The goblins are coming, the goblins are coming!
You have a screaming need for fireball magic when you get into a snit.
166. You find yourself obsessed with finding green tights and red armbands when you shop for clothes.
167. You can't function well without consulting Martridge.
168. You are startled to see little girls without big flower baskets and long skirts.
169. You wonder why sex sans foreplay makes Dink a stud and makes women run from you.
170. When you enter the room for an important meeting, you expect to see a flickering, "Please Wait" flash above the door.
171. You feel cheated, without slurpers to clean up the raw eggs you just dropped.
172. You've discovered - too late - that butt-stomping can't be done in those green tights you finally found.
173. You expect ducks, pigs and trees to talk to you, and wonder why people scream and run...
174. You think it's de rigeur to carry a bag of pig feed wherever you go.
175. When you get paid, you're listening for that pretty "tinkle."
176. You wonder why the bottle you're looking for doesn't bounce.
177. When you talk to people the way Dink does, you lose friends.
178. You go around saying, "bite me." (Or just "bite" for short.)
179. Why don't those green tights look as good on you?
180. You can't find a single tiny man in a blue starry robe and tall pointy hat to help you with your problems.
181. When you go onto vacant land, you're looking for slayers, slimes and pillbugs.
182. When you find a real scorpion in your house, you try to punch it - and get stung.
183. You've burned every pine tree for miles around and haven't found a single secret cache.
184. You carry a walkman, so you can listen to .mid files while you go through life.
185. You go around hitting everything, even graves!
186. You know your wife plays Dink too much when she runs off with a dude named Milder.
187. So you change your name to Flatstomp.
188. At times of momentous decisions, you look for the savebot.
189. When you're told, "the boss wants to see you," you try arm your Thunderstrike and Clawsword, and check your stats.
190. You forget how to sit down.
191. You really get off when you can put on blue boots and wiggle like mad.
192. You put on a blue jacket and expect to be able to walk through fire. (And wonder how you ended up in the burn ward.)
193. If Dink can jump off cliffs, why did you end up with two broken legs? (You're now glad you didn't try it first on the Grand Canyon.)
194. Women wearing burkas look more real to you than American women do.
195. You lust for bonca meat. Or bonca jerky.
196. You think you should be saving the world, and quit your job to go adventuring.
197. You piss publicly, or in pisspots in churches (whoops, it was the wine chalice, and now you've got some...explaining to do).
198. You think members of the Cast are following you everywhere.
199. You join the Cast, only to discover that all they do is pour molten metal into molds, or they expect you to memorize lines for some stupid play.
200. You forget you have a car. But sometimes you look for a teleport machine.
201. You never eat anything but hams and french bread, and a very occasional pie.
202. You still haven't found the king's castle in town, but are still looking.
203. You laugh when you see photos of Queen Elizabeth. Her name isn't Daniel, and her thighs aren't fat. And she's beardless, too!
204. You try treating a barmaid the way Dink does, and the bouncer gives you a taste of his HP.
205. You live in a volcanic area and wonder (in the hospital) how that cool cave you crawled into turned out to be a fumarole.
206. You already know that pillbugs and ducks have been plotting revenge for years, but the CIA won't listen to you.
207. You enjoy putting chameleons on plaid cloth, and try assuring the little Basilisk that you have enough honor. But he's hiding his scales; there isn't a single one visible, and he's not talking.
208. You decide you have to resolve to stop hitting your bosses just to find out what they're really thinking. You're tired of workmen's comp.
209. You fantasize about going to bed with Cthunik. Or that mermaid...
210. Why doesn't the local brothel have someone like Morganna?
211. You pick up every green mushroom you can find. And eat it.
212. Your best line to pick up a girl is to ask, "Are you free? (Wink Wink)"
213. You try using the scroll in Lyna to resuscitate a dead loved one.
214. You often speak in riddles and puns. People shun you.
215. Your doctor asked you how you broke all the bones in your hand, but didn't seem to know what a stone monster was.
216. The goblins are coming, the goblins are coming!
