The Dink Network

I think that a crustacean monster is a little out of place in a forest scene. But that is not much of an issue and I think the story could continue perfectly well with it. As it is, I am bursting with anticipation for untitled-V. Your writing is so good if it were put into a collection of short stories you would of thought it was written by a professional author.
EDIT
I also think that the switch from first to third person was unneccesary and that IS a major flaw.