Reply to Nursery Rhymes
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A few days ago my teacher gave us a paper on how to write better. All of them are obvious, yet some are funny, hence my posting.
Rule 1: Don't use words that make the reader either lose interest or require a dictionary.
What nursery rhymes are these?
1) A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic proturberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical sturucture. Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken by the first team member.
2) A triumvirate of murine rodents, totally devoid of ophthalmic acuity, were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturist's uxorial adjunct. Said adjunct then performed a triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely-honed bladed instrument generally used for subdivision of edible tissue.
Famous Old Sayings:
1) The stylus is more important than the claymore.
2) Members of an avian species of identicawl plumage congregate.
3) It is furitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
4) Neophyte's serendipity.
Rule 2: Watch out for grammar.
Some "rules" for grammar:
1) Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into English.
2) Verbs has to agree in number with their subjects.
3) Don't use no double negatives.
4) Being bad grammar, a writer should not use dangling modifiers.
5) Join clauses good like a conjunction should.
6) About sentence fragments.
7) Don't use run-on sentences you got to punctuate them.
8) In letters essays and reports use commas to separate items in series.
9) Don't use commas, which are not necessary.
10) Don't abbrev.
11) Check to see if you any words out.
12) In the case of a report, check to see that jargonwise, it's A-OK.
13) Mixed metaphors are a pain in the neck and ought to be weeded out.
Rule 1: Don't use words that make the reader either lose interest or require a dictionary.
What nursery rhymes are these?
1) A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic proturberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical sturucture. Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken by the first team member.
2) A triumvirate of murine rodents, totally devoid of ophthalmic acuity, were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturist's uxorial adjunct. Said adjunct then performed a triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely-honed bladed instrument generally used for subdivision of edible tissue.
Famous Old Sayings:
1) The stylus is more important than the claymore.
2) Members of an avian species of identicawl plumage congregate.
3) It is furitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
4) Neophyte's serendipity.
Rule 2: Watch out for grammar.
Some "rules" for grammar:
1) Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into English.
2) Verbs has to agree in number with their subjects.
3) Don't use no double negatives.
4) Being bad grammar, a writer should not use dangling modifiers.
5) Join clauses good like a conjunction should.
6) About sentence fragments.
7) Don't use run-on sentences you got to punctuate them.
8) In letters essays and reports use commas to separate items in series.
9) Don't use commas, which are not necessary.
10) Don't abbrev.
11) Check to see if you any words out.
12) In the case of a report, check to see that jargonwise, it's A-OK.
13) Mixed metaphors are a pain in the neck and ought to be weeded out.
