Reply to The Complete and Utter Idiots Guide to Emptying the Cashe
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{I'm doing this in the style of 'the complete and utter idiot's guide to yadda yadda yadda. No offence intended}
Hello!
So after owning a computer a while, you somehow got the idea that your cashe needed to be emptied? Why? Oh? Ohhhh... Well, let's leave that topic alone. So you want to learn the complex prossess that empties your internet cashe to, ahem, free up disk space.
So first's things first, are you using Internet Explorer?
Your giving me that blank look. I don't like it.
Ok. Lets look to the very top of the screen. You say that there it's black? Oh. Ok. Turn the monitor on, and while your at it, the computer too.
Should it be smoking like that? Oh, nevermind.
OK, now that your computer on, let's open up the internet browser.
Your really clueless about this, arn't you?
It should look like a big blue letter e. Yes, thats the one. Now, use the mouse pointer and double-click on it.
No, not an actual mouse, god know's where you got that from, but the little roundish plastic thing on the felt pad, beside your computer? Yes, thats it! Good job!
Ok, now move it a little. No your computer is not broken, it's supposed to do that. You can stop playing any time know.
Any time.
Any time at all.
Stop already.
STOP!
Your right, I was to harsh. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you were getting right carried away. There there now, we are almost done, let's just finish this, mkay?
Ok, now lets use the mouse, no the plastic one, and manouver the pointer on the screen onto the big blue "e". Now use your index finder, and hit down twice. You should hear a click.
Whoah, calm down, it's supposed to do that.
Now you see a bunch of pictures on the screen, yes? Good. We are almost done. I can hardly wait.
Now, lets go to the second highest bar on the screen and lets click, and hold the clicker finger down on the word "Tools". A list should pop down. Good job!
Now keep that finger nice and steady, and pull the mouse so that the words: "Internet Options" becomes highlighted in blue.
You can let go at any time.
No need to become snotty, now LET GO!
Ok, Ok, I promise no to be so mean in the future, just let go, ok?
Fine. Please lift your index finger off the mouse.
There we go.
Now a box should 'pop up'. Right in the middle of it, there should be a mini-title called "Temporary Internet Files". In this little section, there should be a button, with the words "Delete Files..." Press it.
Not with your finger, with your mouse.
No, not that one. Put that down. I don't care if it runs away, it deserves a better home.
No, you are mistaken, I said it couldn't have a better home.
Now, back on track, use the mouse pointer and hit the button saying "Delete Files..." just once. Another box should pop up. There should be two buttons in this one. Hit, with your on screen pointer, the one that says "Cancel".
Now, your computer might slow down for a few seconds depending on how much stuff is in the Cashe, but after this, your done, your cashe is basically empty! Tada!
{note: Don't get angry at me, this is supposed to be hurmorus.
}
Hello!
So after owning a computer a while, you somehow got the idea that your cashe needed to be emptied? Why? Oh? Ohhhh... Well, let's leave that topic alone. So you want to learn the complex prossess that empties your internet cashe to, ahem, free up disk space.
So first's things first, are you using Internet Explorer?
Your giving me that blank look. I don't like it.
Ok. Lets look to the very top of the screen. You say that there it's black? Oh. Ok. Turn the monitor on, and while your at it, the computer too.
Should it be smoking like that? Oh, nevermind.
OK, now that your computer on, let's open up the internet browser.
Your really clueless about this, arn't you?
It should look like a big blue letter e. Yes, thats the one. Now, use the mouse pointer and double-click on it.
No, not an actual mouse, god know's where you got that from, but the little roundish plastic thing on the felt pad, beside your computer? Yes, thats it! Good job!
Ok, now move it a little. No your computer is not broken, it's supposed to do that. You can stop playing any time know.
Any time.
Any time at all.
Stop already.
STOP!
Your right, I was to harsh. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you were getting right carried away. There there now, we are almost done, let's just finish this, mkay?
Ok, now lets use the mouse, no the plastic one, and manouver the pointer on the screen onto the big blue "e". Now use your index finder, and hit down twice. You should hear a click.
Whoah, calm down, it's supposed to do that.
Now you see a bunch of pictures on the screen, yes? Good. We are almost done. I can hardly wait.
Now, lets go to the second highest bar on the screen and lets click, and hold the clicker finger down on the word "Tools". A list should pop down. Good job!
Now keep that finger nice and steady, and pull the mouse so that the words: "Internet Options" becomes highlighted in blue.
You can let go at any time.
No need to become snotty, now LET GO!
Ok, Ok, I promise no to be so mean in the future, just let go, ok?
Fine. Please lift your index finger off the mouse.
There we go.
Now a box should 'pop up'. Right in the middle of it, there should be a mini-title called "Temporary Internet Files". In this little section, there should be a button, with the words "Delete Files..." Press it.
Not with your finger, with your mouse.
No, not that one. Put that down. I don't care if it runs away, it deserves a better home.
No, you are mistaken, I said it couldn't have a better home.
Now, back on track, use the mouse pointer and hit the button saying "Delete Files..." just once. Another box should pop up. There should be two buttons in this one. Hit, with your on screen pointer, the one that says "Cancel".
Now, your computer might slow down for a few seconds depending on how much stuff is in the Cashe, but after this, your done, your cashe is basically empty! Tada!
{note: Don't get angry at me, this is supposed to be hurmorus.
}
