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I edited the explosion/harm stuff, but Erwin, you said you found a lot of mistakes in it? You only mentioned one and that one you mentioned really isn't that big of a mistake.
A lot is probably exaggerated. You made mostly grammatical mistakes and your quote of Milder is wrong, you wrote "Dink, you are much of a knight than I ever was" instead of "..you are more of a knight than I ever was, Dink...". If you quote someone just copy what they said . Also you didn't mention that there were two options from which you could choose. Not that it's that important but it's probably not such a good thing to just mention one of the two, if you're going to mention one of the options at least mention both.
A lot is probably exaggerated. You made mostly grammatical mistakes and your quote of Milder is wrong, you wrote "Dink, you are much of a knight than I ever was" instead of "..you are more of a knight than I ever was, Dink...". If you quote someone just copy what they said . Also you didn't mention that there were two options from which you could choose. Not that it's that important but it's probably not such a good thing to just mention one of the two, if you're going to mention one of the options at least mention both.