Lost Crystals (Fiction) Chapter 1.2
...He has stolen the crystals.....Wait the 10th one is still here!...The 10th one is the crystal chamber, the other 9 crystals fit in it...Hmmmmm who will retrieve the crystals?...Maybe me...And me!...Whos there!?!
(Ashley) Me! Ashley! Whats your name!?
(Austin) Austin...What do you want?
(Ashley) I want to help you!
(Austin) Really!?! I could use the help...where should we start?
(Ashley) 1st we will need weapons...Then 2nd we should now just where we are going!
(Austin) Great! Ill get the weapons you get a map or something...(And so they went off looking for maps and weapons...)
(Austin) Aha! A weapon shop!
(Weapon seller) what do ya need? Perhaps some guns? Swords? I have it all!...
(Austin) I think will take the 2 pistols and the scimatar thing...
(Weapon seller) Okey-dokey! That will be $2000! Thank you!...
(Ashley) Excuse me do you have a map?
(Old lady) What kind of map?
(Ashley) A map that leads out of Titherholm and into the wilderness...
(Old lady) sure just take it! I dont need any maps, im not going anywhere...
(Ashley) Okay thanks!
(Austin) ive got two pistols and a scimatar, ill keep the pistols
you can have the scimatar...
(Ashley) Fine with me heres a map now lets get going!
(Ashley) Me! Ashley! Whats your name!?
(Austin) Austin...What do you want?
(Ashley) I want to help you!
(Austin) Really!?! I could use the help...where should we start?
(Ashley) 1st we will need weapons...Then 2nd we should now just where we are going!
(Austin) Great! Ill get the weapons you get a map or something...(And so they went off looking for maps and weapons...)
(Austin) Aha! A weapon shop!
(Weapon seller) what do ya need? Perhaps some guns? Swords? I have it all!...
(Austin) I think will take the 2 pistols and the scimatar thing...
(Weapon seller) Okey-dokey! That will be $2000! Thank you!...
(Ashley) Excuse me do you have a map?
(Old lady) What kind of map?
(Ashley) A map that leads out of Titherholm and into the wilderness...
(Old lady) sure just take it! I dont need any maps, im not going anywhere...
(Ashley) Okay thanks!
(Austin) ive got two pistols and a scimatar, ill keep the pistols
you can have the scimatar...(Ashley) Fine with me heres a map now lets get going!
I'd put the conversation on separate lines. Like this:
(Ashley) Me! Ashley! What's your name!?
(Austin) Austin...What do you want?
(Ashley) I want to help you!
(Austin) Really!?! I could use the help...where should we start?
etc...
This improves readability very much.
(Ashley) Me! Ashley! What's your name!?
(Austin) Austin...What do you want?
(Ashley) I want to help you!
(Austin) Really!?! I could use the help...where should we start?
etc...
This improves readability very much.
Thanks ill do that....If anyone has any other suggestions for my stories please tell and i will probably modify my stories...
.....looks liks i had to put 2 enters for those ones....
