Romanian News...
Anyone remember my old thread about Romanians doing weird things to their genitals? Well apparently its a national obsession. This one guy I know regularly checks their news and has collected all their stories...here they are:
The parts in * are my thoughts.
-
Sperm to the rescue
Romanian factory workers donate sperm in order to save their factory from going bankrupt. Apparently, sperm is one of the most valuable commodities that is also in great demand on the market in this South-European country. Besides, the workers of this ex-Socialist country possess nothing else aside from it.
According to a spokesman of the "Kampulung" factory, which manufactures 4x4s, the facility owns creditors a little over $12 000 000 USD. Sperm-bank located just around the corner from the car-manufacturing facility pays $32 per ejaculation. The workers, after hearing about this remarkable opportunity, rushed to the sperm bank to donate their sperm in order to pay back the creditors. One of the union leaders stated the following to the "Sun" newspaper:
"Judging by our technical-economic plan, it turns out that if 1000 workers will donate their sperm regularly in the course of 2-3 months, we will be able to collect enough financial means to pay of the debt in its entirety. In the meantime, it is very rewarding to observe young workers trying to do their best to save this facility along with all the working personnel here."
-
*
Their just desperate...
*
-
Depressed man cuts off his rod while shopping
A depressed Romanian man has cut off his rod, while on a family shopping trip.
Tiberiu Sas says he is disappointed at not being able to find a soul mate and not finding a job.
Doctors have managed to rebuild his organ and hope he will fully recover. They say he was lucky not to bleed to death.
He is also to have mental health checks.
Mr Sas, 26, from Bia Mare, told the National newspaper: "I decided to cut my manhood off while I was downtown shopping with my mother and brother.
"I told them I needed to go to the toilet and went behind a building. I entered this barrack, took my pocket knife out and cut the rod until it was hanging in a piece of skin.
"Then I put it back in my pants and went back shopping.
"I didn't feel any pain then. It started to hurt me about two hours later when I got home. I told my sister what I did and she convinced me to go to the hospital."
-
*
How do you ignore that kind of pain?
*
-
Mayor: 'Stop pestering me for sex'
A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex.
Cristian Anghel, mayor of Baia Mare in Romania, claims he had more than a hundred calls in the last week from women declaring their love for him.
He said many come straight out and even invite him round for sex, local daily Libertatea reported.
Mayor Anghel said: "The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline.
"I hear declarations of love and some have even made erotic proposals to me.
"I can understand these ladies have desires but their kind of problems need to be solved somewhere else, not at the Town Hall."
-
*
What a stud.
*
-
PM offers to sleep with journalists' wives
The Romanian Prime Minister is offering to sleep with the wives and girlfriends of journalists on a Romanian newspaper to stop them claiming he is fabulous.
Adrian Nastase, who is also a candidate in this weekend's presidential run off elections, made the offer after being asked by reporters about rumours a local newspaper was to out him as fabulous.
Nastase said: "I am not afraid of the threat of any sexual scandal created by a certain newspaper that criticises me every day anyway.
"If people from Evenimentul Zilei newspaper want me to prove to them that I have no homosexual inclinations, I will test all their wives and girlfriends to show them where my preferences really are."
Evenimentul Zilei responded by writing: "We are very worried about the health of Nastase, who appears to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown in the light of his recent tasteless statements."
-
*
The Prime Minister. A man of bold action...a man of deep honesty...and a man of adultery!
*
-
Woman's night of romance without a man ends up in hospital
A Romanian woman had to have an aerosol removed in hospital after her attempt at a romantic evening without a man misfired.
The woman, who was holidaying alone on the Black Sea coast, had decorated her hotel room with candles and flowers and put on some background music.
But the night ended in pain and embarrassment after she tried to use a can of deodorant as a sex aid and got it stuck.
The woman, named as Marcela M by the National newspaper in Romania, told doctors she had just broken up with her boyfriend and wanted to prove to herself she could do without a man.
Doctors managed to remove the aerosol but kept the woman - from Hunedoara - in hospital for observation, the National reports.
-
*
I wonder what scent it was?
*
-
Industrial sex aid lands Romanian in hospital
A man ended up in an operating theatre after his rod got stuck in an industrial bolt he used to try and maintain an erection.
The 46-year-old man, from Oradea, Romania, named only as Janos, decided to try using the bolt to help him keep an erection after seeing a porn star do the same in a film.
But after slipping his rod through the bolt it became stuck and began to swell up painfully.
He eventually went to hospital where doctors tried to remove the bolt.
Dr Gheorghe Bumbu from Bihor County Hospital who operated on the man, told local media: "The rod was so swollen I could hardly see the bolt around it. It was a massive steel bolt and any attempt to cut it could have hurt the man.
"My surgery room soon turned into a locksmiths shop. I even called engineer friends to see if there was any way of cutting the bearing.
"I almost gave up hope of saving the man's rod when I realised that I could make several longitudinal cuts and let the blood come out so that the rod could deflate. After that the bearing came off easily."
He added: "There are men who have erection problems and they're trying all these tricks. They should see a doctor first."
-
*
They should also see psychologists.
*
-
Couple couldn't conceive because they were doing it wrong
A Romanian couple complained of being childless until a doctor's examination revealed they were doing it wrong.
The newlyweds had been unsuccessfully trying for a baby. They went to a family planning clinic and had a chat with a gynaecologist.
He realised they were having anal sex and sent them away with leaflets on sex education.
The couple, who are gypsies from Lupoaia went to the family planning section of the County Hospital of Zalau.
They told the doctor that although they have a very active sex life the woman still couldn't get pregnant.
They explained how they were having sex and the doctor realised the problem.
He gave them brochures and leaflets for sex education, reports Evenimentul Zilei newspaper
-
*
(rolls eyes)
*
-
Boy's rod ripped off after 'joke' goes wrong
A boy's rod was ripped off when he took part in a dare in exchange for a slice of watermelon.
A Romanian market trader said he would give the boy free fruit if he tried to pull a trailer with his rod tied to it.
The man, however, is alleged to have dropped the trailer's front bar, which reportedly tore off the 10-year-old's rod and urethra.
It happened at Rahova market in Bucharest. The trader, who has been arrested, said it had only been a joke. If found guilty of corporal mutilation, he could be imprisoned for up to seven years, reports the Ziua Daily.
The child is in Grigore Alexandrescu Children's hospital and is said to be in a stable condition.
-
*
ONE slice of watermelon? In most places you cant get the WHOLE thing for half that rod!
*
-
Mr Little rod throws in the towel
A Romanian man whose surname, Putica, means "little rod", has given up trying to change his name because of all the bureaucratic barriers he met.
Constantin Putica, 45, said he had got fed up with trips to various state offices and constant red tape.
He said: "I have got used to people laughing when they hear my name. I can live with it."
.
However, he is not on his own, as according to Libertatea, there are dozens of Romanians with names like Caca (Faeces), Cur (Ass) and Coi (Testicle).
-
*
His parents must've hated him.
*
-
What started off as an innocent rod-bragging contest in a Romanian bar ended up with one man's trip to the hospital to get a wheel bearing removed from his member. The operation took three hours, doctors said, and was a delicate process of cutting and draining the rod that should make all men -- Romanians or no -- think twice about entering such events.
This modern epic of woe began in a pub in Ramincu Valcea, a town of 120,000 in south-central Romania. A 43-year-old man and his buddies held an informal competition. The contest was simple: Who had the largest rod? Our tragic figure, identified by hospital officials only as "Ion L.," thought he could outsmart his pals and, before arriving at the pub, slipped a steel bearing over his rod to keep it erect. That way, he was sure to win the all-important match. Or so he said.
His brainstorm backfired, to say the least, when the bearing became horribly stuck. The man spent the next three days attempting to remove it himself, at the same time pretending to act normal in front of his wife and three children. But the pain was so intense he finally realized he had to go to a hospital. Barely able to even walk, he convinced a friend he had stomach cramps, and the friend drove him to a hospital.
Dr. Mihail Serbanescu examined the patient, and realized he'd seen a case like this only once before. In that instance, the foreign object was simply cut off. Not so with Ion L., the poor unfortunate rod-bragging contestant.
"This bearing was from the wheel of a crane and was toughened steel, so it was a much more difficult and longer process," the doctor explained with some efficiency. "We would have had to use an acetylene cutter to get the bearing off. Instead I had to cut open the rod and drain it to solve the problem."
Ion claimed this rod contest was an isolated incident, and that he does not usually participate in such activities. As for his rod, doctors have suggested that it rest for three months -- and lay off the wheel bearings.
-
*
Its called male enhancement...look into it.
*
-
A Romanian man had his testicles ripped off by his wife after she accused him of having an affair.
Fifty-year-old Aurica Marinescu from Constanta managed to call an ambulance before he passed out.
Doctors at a local hospital managed to re-attach his scrotum after a ten hour operation.
But despite his injuries, Marinescu says he won't press charges against his wife, according to the local daily Libertatea.
He said: "We were at home when we started to fight over a so-called relationship I had with another woman. She got so angry that she grabbed my scrotum and ripped it off.
"I wouldn't have said she was a strong woman but she was furious and she seemed to have superhuman strength in her anger.
The pain was incredible."
The man said his wife was very passionate and added he still loved her, which was why he did not want to cause her any problems by pressing charges.
-
*
She must have had PMS...either that or she's the incredible Hulk's daughter.
*
-
A Romanian man ended up in hospital after he tied string around his rod to avoid going to the toilet.
Vasile Barbulescu now faces months of complicated surgery to correct the damage caused, according to local press.
He was taken to hospital in Galati in southeast Romania where he admitted wrapping string around his rod to put off going to the toilet until he got home.
Doctors have said they are unsure whether they can repair the damage and say he faces repeated surgery.
Dr Alexandru Iurea who treated the man, said: "He told us he had tied it round really tight. When we finally got it off we saw his rod had massive injuries."
-
*
Why couldnt he just have went in his pants like everyone else?
*
,
The Vault Dweller
The parts in * are my thoughts.
-
Sperm to the rescue
Romanian factory workers donate sperm in order to save their factory from going bankrupt. Apparently, sperm is one of the most valuable commodities that is also in great demand on the market in this South-European country. Besides, the workers of this ex-Socialist country possess nothing else aside from it.
According to a spokesman of the "Kampulung" factory, which manufactures 4x4s, the facility owns creditors a little over $12 000 000 USD. Sperm-bank located just around the corner from the car-manufacturing facility pays $32 per ejaculation. The workers, after hearing about this remarkable opportunity, rushed to the sperm bank to donate their sperm in order to pay back the creditors. One of the union leaders stated the following to the "Sun" newspaper:
"Judging by our technical-economic plan, it turns out that if 1000 workers will donate their sperm regularly in the course of 2-3 months, we will be able to collect enough financial means to pay of the debt in its entirety. In the meantime, it is very rewarding to observe young workers trying to do their best to save this facility along with all the working personnel here."
-
*
Their just desperate...
*
-
Depressed man cuts off his rod while shopping
A depressed Romanian man has cut off his rod, while on a family shopping trip.
Tiberiu Sas says he is disappointed at not being able to find a soul mate and not finding a job.
Doctors have managed to rebuild his organ and hope he will fully recover. They say he was lucky not to bleed to death.
He is also to have mental health checks.
Mr Sas, 26, from Bia Mare, told the National newspaper: "I decided to cut my manhood off while I was downtown shopping with my mother and brother.
"I told them I needed to go to the toilet and went behind a building. I entered this barrack, took my pocket knife out and cut the rod until it was hanging in a piece of skin.
"Then I put it back in my pants and went back shopping.
"I didn't feel any pain then. It started to hurt me about two hours later when I got home. I told my sister what I did and she convinced me to go to the hospital."
-
*
How do you ignore that kind of pain?
*
-
Mayor: 'Stop pestering me for sex'
A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex.
Cristian Anghel, mayor of Baia Mare in Romania, claims he had more than a hundred calls in the last week from women declaring their love for him.
He said many come straight out and even invite him round for sex, local daily Libertatea reported.
Mayor Anghel said: "The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline.
"I hear declarations of love and some have even made erotic proposals to me.
"I can understand these ladies have desires but their kind of problems need to be solved somewhere else, not at the Town Hall."
-
*
What a stud.
*
-
PM offers to sleep with journalists' wives
The Romanian Prime Minister is offering to sleep with the wives and girlfriends of journalists on a Romanian newspaper to stop them claiming he is fabulous.
Adrian Nastase, who is also a candidate in this weekend's presidential run off elections, made the offer after being asked by reporters about rumours a local newspaper was to out him as fabulous.
Nastase said: "I am not afraid of the threat of any sexual scandal created by a certain newspaper that criticises me every day anyway.
"If people from Evenimentul Zilei newspaper want me to prove to them that I have no homosexual inclinations, I will test all their wives and girlfriends to show them where my preferences really are."
Evenimentul Zilei responded by writing: "We are very worried about the health of Nastase, who appears to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown in the light of his recent tasteless statements."
-
*
The Prime Minister. A man of bold action...a man of deep honesty...and a man of adultery!
*
-
Woman's night of romance without a man ends up in hospital
A Romanian woman had to have an aerosol removed in hospital after her attempt at a romantic evening without a man misfired.
The woman, who was holidaying alone on the Black Sea coast, had decorated her hotel room with candles and flowers and put on some background music.
But the night ended in pain and embarrassment after she tried to use a can of deodorant as a sex aid and got it stuck.
The woman, named as Marcela M by the National newspaper in Romania, told doctors she had just broken up with her boyfriend and wanted to prove to herself she could do without a man.
Doctors managed to remove the aerosol but kept the woman - from Hunedoara - in hospital for observation, the National reports.
-
*
I wonder what scent it was?
*
-
Industrial sex aid lands Romanian in hospital
A man ended up in an operating theatre after his rod got stuck in an industrial bolt he used to try and maintain an erection.
The 46-year-old man, from Oradea, Romania, named only as Janos, decided to try using the bolt to help him keep an erection after seeing a porn star do the same in a film.
But after slipping his rod through the bolt it became stuck and began to swell up painfully.
He eventually went to hospital where doctors tried to remove the bolt.
Dr Gheorghe Bumbu from Bihor County Hospital who operated on the man, told local media: "The rod was so swollen I could hardly see the bolt around it. It was a massive steel bolt and any attempt to cut it could have hurt the man.
"My surgery room soon turned into a locksmiths shop. I even called engineer friends to see if there was any way of cutting the bearing.
"I almost gave up hope of saving the man's rod when I realised that I could make several longitudinal cuts and let the blood come out so that the rod could deflate. After that the bearing came off easily."
He added: "There are men who have erection problems and they're trying all these tricks. They should see a doctor first."
-
*
They should also see psychologists.
*
-
Couple couldn't conceive because they were doing it wrong
A Romanian couple complained of being childless until a doctor's examination revealed they were doing it wrong.
The newlyweds had been unsuccessfully trying for a baby. They went to a family planning clinic and had a chat with a gynaecologist.
He realised they were having anal sex and sent them away with leaflets on sex education.
The couple, who are gypsies from Lupoaia went to the family planning section of the County Hospital of Zalau.
They told the doctor that although they have a very active sex life the woman still couldn't get pregnant.
They explained how they were having sex and the doctor realised the problem.
He gave them brochures and leaflets for sex education, reports Evenimentul Zilei newspaper
-
*
(rolls eyes)
*
-
Boy's rod ripped off after 'joke' goes wrong
A boy's rod was ripped off when he took part in a dare in exchange for a slice of watermelon.
A Romanian market trader said he would give the boy free fruit if he tried to pull a trailer with his rod tied to it.
The man, however, is alleged to have dropped the trailer's front bar, which reportedly tore off the 10-year-old's rod and urethra.
It happened at Rahova market in Bucharest. The trader, who has been arrested, said it had only been a joke. If found guilty of corporal mutilation, he could be imprisoned for up to seven years, reports the Ziua Daily.
The child is in Grigore Alexandrescu Children's hospital and is said to be in a stable condition.
-
*
ONE slice of watermelon? In most places you cant get the WHOLE thing for half that rod!
*
-
Mr Little rod throws in the towel
A Romanian man whose surname, Putica, means "little rod", has given up trying to change his name because of all the bureaucratic barriers he met.
Constantin Putica, 45, said he had got fed up with trips to various state offices and constant red tape.
He said: "I have got used to people laughing when they hear my name. I can live with it."
.
However, he is not on his own, as according to Libertatea, there are dozens of Romanians with names like Caca (Faeces), Cur (Ass) and Coi (Testicle).
-
*
His parents must've hated him.
*
-
What started off as an innocent rod-bragging contest in a Romanian bar ended up with one man's trip to the hospital to get a wheel bearing removed from his member. The operation took three hours, doctors said, and was a delicate process of cutting and draining the rod that should make all men -- Romanians or no -- think twice about entering such events.
This modern epic of woe began in a pub in Ramincu Valcea, a town of 120,000 in south-central Romania. A 43-year-old man and his buddies held an informal competition. The contest was simple: Who had the largest rod? Our tragic figure, identified by hospital officials only as "Ion L.," thought he could outsmart his pals and, before arriving at the pub, slipped a steel bearing over his rod to keep it erect. That way, he was sure to win the all-important match. Or so he said.
His brainstorm backfired, to say the least, when the bearing became horribly stuck. The man spent the next three days attempting to remove it himself, at the same time pretending to act normal in front of his wife and three children. But the pain was so intense he finally realized he had to go to a hospital. Barely able to even walk, he convinced a friend he had stomach cramps, and the friend drove him to a hospital.
Dr. Mihail Serbanescu examined the patient, and realized he'd seen a case like this only once before. In that instance, the foreign object was simply cut off. Not so with Ion L., the poor unfortunate rod-bragging contestant.
"This bearing was from the wheel of a crane and was toughened steel, so it was a much more difficult and longer process," the doctor explained with some efficiency. "We would have had to use an acetylene cutter to get the bearing off. Instead I had to cut open the rod and drain it to solve the problem."
Ion claimed this rod contest was an isolated incident, and that he does not usually participate in such activities. As for his rod, doctors have suggested that it rest for three months -- and lay off the wheel bearings.
-
*
Its called male enhancement...look into it.
*
-
A Romanian man had his testicles ripped off by his wife after she accused him of having an affair.
Fifty-year-old Aurica Marinescu from Constanta managed to call an ambulance before he passed out.
Doctors at a local hospital managed to re-attach his scrotum after a ten hour operation.
But despite his injuries, Marinescu says he won't press charges against his wife, according to the local daily Libertatea.
He said: "We were at home when we started to fight over a so-called relationship I had with another woman. She got so angry that she grabbed my scrotum and ripped it off.
"I wouldn't have said she was a strong woman but she was furious and she seemed to have superhuman strength in her anger.
The pain was incredible."
The man said his wife was very passionate and added he still loved her, which was why he did not want to cause her any problems by pressing charges.
-
*
She must have had PMS...either that or she's the incredible Hulk's daughter.
*
-
A Romanian man ended up in hospital after he tied string around his rod to avoid going to the toilet.
Vasile Barbulescu now faces months of complicated surgery to correct the damage caused, according to local press.
He was taken to hospital in Galati in southeast Romania where he admitted wrapping string around his rod to put off going to the toilet until he got home.
Doctors have said they are unsure whether they can repair the damage and say he faces repeated surgery.
Dr Alexandru Iurea who treated the man, said: "He told us he had tied it round really tight. When we finally got it off we saw his rod had massive injuries."
-
*
Why couldnt he just have went in his pants like everyone else?
*
,The Vault Dweller
All I have to say is one big loud,"OWWWW"
