stories.....plz reply
an (un)epic tale
once apwn a time.........
there lived a poor pig farmer named Dink Smallwood. He lived in the peaceful town of I Got Stoned... and this is where our story begins................
Ages past before the fates created the world and all we know on it they created a portal... a portal that um..... did stuff... well stuff that was weird.... hey are u laugh ing at me rght now ? if u are.....ill beat ur face in...um.. back to the story..... well this portal did these strange things like um.. make unlikely heroes...save the world from guys that have stupid names....um like seth...(seth is a cool guy no offence)well then there was a time lapse... and now.... there was a poor pig farmer named dink smallwood who lived in the town of I Got Stoned. all was well until one day the town knight/tax collector came he was called Milder flatstomp (i think) and said,"fe fi fo fum i smell the tax money of a pig farmer, give me it or else ill **** ur face" but dink had lost his money yester day at the casino *flachback* ughhh... huh... i want a beer plox no i want it with cola!! ok.... ZzZzZz... some time later: aghhh my moneys gone..........who stole it....random guy: u drank too many beers sou wasted it all muahaha... *flachback over*
well so dink couldnt pay up so milder burned his house... and raped his mom all while dink was restrained by milder's guards... after that he was invited to stay at his aunt's brothel for a price though..... 1 gold a night...
so while he was there he raped many a girl but one day he was rejected because his dink was too short XD so he found his uncle raping his aunt... so he punched his uncle in the face and fireballed him... then his uncle got really mad and took and axe and ran after dink but then dink beat the crap out of him in a dark alley way O.O....
after that he found a dungeon where he could dispose of his body with but when he threw the body down there he heard a voice... the voice said,"i like men".........
once apwn a time.........
there lived a poor pig farmer named Dink Smallwood. He lived in the peaceful town of I Got Stoned... and this is where our story begins................
Ages past before the fates created the world and all we know on it they created a portal... a portal that um..... did stuff... well stuff that was weird.... hey are u laugh ing at me rght now ? if u are.....ill beat ur face in...um.. back to the story..... well this portal did these strange things like um.. make unlikely heroes...save the world from guys that have stupid names....um like seth...(seth is a cool guy no offence)well then there was a time lapse... and now.... there was a poor pig farmer named dink smallwood who lived in the town of I Got Stoned. all was well until one day the town knight/tax collector came he was called Milder flatstomp (i think) and said,"fe fi fo fum i smell the tax money of a pig farmer, give me it or else ill **** ur face" but dink had lost his money yester day at the casino *flachback* ughhh... huh... i want a beer plox no i want it with cola!! ok.... ZzZzZz... some time later: aghhh my moneys gone..........who stole it....random guy: u drank too many beers sou wasted it all muahaha... *flachback over*
well so dink couldnt pay up so milder burned his house... and raped his mom all while dink was restrained by milder's guards... after that he was invited to stay at his aunt's brothel for a price though..... 1 gold a night...
so while he was there he raped many a girl but one day he was rejected because his dink was too short XD so he found his uncle raping his aunt... so he punched his uncle in the face and fireballed him... then his uncle got really mad and took and axe and ran after dink but then dink beat the crap out of him in a dark alley way O.O....after that he found a dungeon where he could dispose of his body with but when he threw the body down there he heard a voice... the voice said,"i like men".........
WHAT THE DUCKKK!!
THAT WAS FUKING STUPID I MEAN THAT IS JUST A SICKER WAY TO TELL A DINK SMALLWOOD STORY
THAT WAS FUKING STUPID I MEAN THAT IS JUST A SICKER WAY TO TELL A DINK SMALLWOOD STORY
wow rarely have i read a more strange and disturbing bit of silliness. i am not sure if i should feel sullied for reading it or elated its over. i wonder if the author was sober.... is the author requesting we make equally....different.... stories?
hmm. interesting technique, mixing heisenburg's crossed tales and philastopheles's man vs sanity. i very much enjoyed the deep look into dink's psyche and was blown away by the attention to detail, with no mercy in describing every last thing that went through his mind. the inner struggles dink went through very much mimicked dante's famous exploits within hell and i was greatly moved by the ending which left nary a thread un-wrapped-up so to speak.
very intense. 7/5.
very intense. 7/5.
