The Dink Network

It was with great enthusiasm that I inherited the throne of the Dink Network from our former king redink1 several weeks ago. The two of us decided that I could maintain the site while redink1 pursues a deeper relationship with his Xbox 360, and I think we can all agree that the Dink Network is as busy as it's ever been. Unfortunately, few of you seem to understand life's other obligations I must satisfy before committing to Dink Network busywork, such as my Information Technology studies, my dishwashing duties, and my various romantic subplots. I am more than content with our Dink coverage ever since my banana-fisted rule was imposed, but some of you seek to squeeze more juice out of a dry banana, so to speak. This morning I came to a most wonderful conclusion:

Wiki. It's the only way.

Awaken my peasants, and embrace the glory that is Dink SmallWiki. Know that I am Tal, the eternal will of redink1, and that Dink SmallWiki has been created so that you can serve me.

I suggested the idea to both redink1 and Striker - what other staffers are relevant? - and we both agreed that this was a triumph. The Generation 9 architecture, which was the products of several years of unwilling labor and was only implemented recently, is simply not enough for the next logical step in Dink Smallwood fandom. This is inadequate. I have invested the remainder of redink1's life savings in new-fangled Wiki software that will allow us all to edit the various facets of the Dink Network as we see fit. For a preview of what's to come, click here. It's basically the same as what I'll be implementing soon, but with fewer Dink images and less potassium than the final product, obviously.

The following questions I asked myself during my sleep should help to illustrate the incredible power of Wiki:

Can you adjust DinkDude95's profile and portray him as an upstanding member of society?
YES

Can you modify my news posts and cripple my vocabulary even more than several years of drug and alcohol abuse already have?
SURE

Are our younger members able to finish the remainder of Generation 9 with the power of Wiki?
IF THEY MUST

Back from the Grave was never finished; can we fix it?
YES WE CAN

Does anyone care if we edit ABCDEFGH-I-GIVE-UP right out of existence?
NO

Is Dink SmallWiki the future?
NO, THE FUTURE IS OUTDATED

Don't think that you have free reign over every facet of Dink SmallWiki, though. There will still be godlike men (and only men) at the top of the food chain, and if it hasn't already become apparent, the power of Wiki is much stronger than I alone can handle. I have already appointed an Advisory Board that will ensure fair and rational use of all things Dink SmallWiki, and the members are as follows:

Tal - Like duh, I'm totally old enough for this.
Dukie - He's more productive than the rest of us.
Striker - He shall smote wrongdoers.
redink1 - VIP
John F. Kennedy - Diplomatic power will be served, primarily during our lunch buffet hours.
John Romero - Will make you all she dogs.
John Mellencamp - Completes the John trifecta, which is distinctly American.
DinkKiller - Fair representation is fair.

Applications for the Advisory Board may be submitted via the File Upload form and may be left pending indefinitely.

You may doubt my ability to implement such an ambitious upgrade to the Dink Network, but rest assured that Dink SmallWiki will be out of beta soon and that we're releasing on time! Dink SmallWiki will be implemented no later than April 1, 2009. I'm making a note here: "HUGE SUCCESS." As a result of the Dink SmallWiki upgrade, the Dink Network will be stronger than never, ever before.

In other news, we have reached an agreement with Valve Corporation to distribute their hit title Portal through the Dink Network. While it may not be entirely relevant to Dink Smallwood, I am of the opinion that you will all enjoy it thoroughly. Go here and look to the left. See? "Portal." Enjoy!

I tried to download Portal but it's not working... is this a bug or is it just me?

I didn't even get the download link in IE or FireFox, only Opera seems to show it correctly.

Anyway, the Dink SmallWiki sounds awesome. Really looking forward to next year.

If the future is already outdated, we need to upgrade to uberwiki-future 2.0 With AJAX. And random shiny.

Under the New Wiki Order, Chrispy's smartass remarks will automatically be converted into generic compliments and phrases of encouragement.

THIS IS MADNESS!

No but seriously, I feel really stupid. Is this a joke?

So basically you're going to throw away everything Redink1 has made, and change it with cheap Wiki software? This must be the 1st April joke, lol.

redink1's stuff isn't worth keeping, man.

lol, Portal.

Dukie and poortal ftw

So when are going to say, Ha, ha, April fools!"?

Can you adjust DinkDude95's profile and portray him as an upstanding member of society?
YES

Huh? I dun geddit. What's wrong with my profile?

NO!
But seriously, 5...4...3...2...1...April Fools?!

So when are going to say, Ha, ha, April fools!"?

The staff have been looking to make big changes for some time, but we couldn't decide on the correct route to take. It would appear Tal has come to a decision, and I expect you, his peons, to fall in line. Now.

Just because something is or isn't announced on April Fools day doesn't mean it's not definitely untrue.

You gotta love Aperture Science.

The most stupid idea that ever heard. No offense, but yeah!

I CAN FEEL THE LOVE.

Also check out the rest of Jonathan Coulton. He's pretty cool.

Skull, we do what we must... because we can.

Redink1 never made something, because he could. He did all of this to make people enjoy Dink.

Well at least I ain't getting picked on... (LOL....Chrispy)

"Redink1 never made something, because he could. He did all of this to make people enjoy Dink."

...Skull's never played Portal, obviously.

And that's because there is not such a thing like ''portal'', DaVince!!

Portal

No, my friend, that'd be the cake. There's no such thing as the cake. The cake is a lie.

The cake is... a lie?

For the people who are still alive.

Forget the cake. Eat pie.

"Awaken my peasants, and embrace the glory that is Dink SmallWiki. Know that I am Tal, the eternal will of redink1, and that Dink SmallWiki has been created so that you can serve me." - Anyone recognizes this?

And for this topic, I have to say that last year joke was far better.

Well, I think someone who used to have the surname "the Templar" certainly should.

I may have let you down, but I'm never gonna give you up.

Does anyone care if we edit ABCDEFGH-I-GIVE-UP right out of existence?
NO

I do.

Dear god; it's creator speaks?!?!
THE END IS NIGH!!

What, you're still here?

What, you're still here?

It's nigh impossible to leave. hahaha

When the full moon rises...The Vampires come to play.

Gokuss I'm already here in the middle of the day... with the... curtains heavilly drawn closed and the computers next to the bed. The full moon is for Werewolves and Toothfairies.
(Lattop; slow comp, has sound, and Desktop; faster comp, has internet and no sound )

What about me?

What about you?

O_O

Hi.

Hello.

YAY TAL! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!

I have been rooting for you from the sidelines silently for 5 years now!

Pinch me.

Oh s**t! OkalyDDude returned!(Hope he will complete his own D-Mod)

Does anyone care if we edit ABCDEFGH-I-GIVE-UP right out of existence?
NO

I do.

But no one else does. It's just there so people can complain about it and say how terrible it is. It's not in any way a proper DMod or movie.

Well, to be *technical*, it is a d-mod. It does modify the original game, to do something else. In that, it succedes. There is no mention made of the *usefullness* of the modification in the definition of d-mod. Anyone else remember, short?

Wow, you showing up is even more surprising than Merlin's return. Always good to see that old members haven't completely forgotten us.

Cult-tastic! no wait-

What is it about this thread that attracts old long-lost dinkers?

No, Sharp, I'm not here... It is just that the DN was kind of a large part of my life some years ago. I wonder why, when I had stopped creating stuff myself, largely had quit playing, and even did not post a lot on the forums, I continued hanging here. I don't even like most of you guys (and girls).

The last few times I've visited the site have been to see how the design and functionality has changed, check if my D-Mod is still up, read nice reviews of it, to see if anyone has mentioned me elsewere, so I can pop up like a troll, and to see if anyone has laughed of my Bangerang Boomerang joke yet (which no-one has). I once also tried to send an updated version of the LOT map changer, because I realized that the current one may frak things up badly, but it did not pass through the needle eye for some reason... (maybe because I did not test it and it would frak up everything a lot worse. Or because of a learned skepticism towards my files.)

"see if anyone has laughed of my Bangerang Boomerang joke yet"

I did

what bangerang boomerang joke? O.o

When did you submit the newer version of the map changer? I don't recall ever seeing it in the pending files list.

Tal: Probably last year or the year before. I can't see it in my contributions list, though. Probably something went wrong. I won't blame you. If I remember right, the version now currently found on the site includes a copy of one of the Ted Shutes updated maps or something... Or maybe there was something else wrong, like overwriting everything.

dinkmega: http://www.dinknetwork.com/file/ehasls_bangerang_boomerang_2/

SparrowHawk: Thank you! Now my life has filled its purpose. Good bye. <puts gun against his head and pulls the trigger> (bang!) Wait a minute... <brain pouring out>... Maybe the new purpose of my life is making and submitting a bugfree map changer for LOT... <dies>