The Dink Network

Sour Gummy Worms

One of the many screens with ever changing enemies
August 7th, 2015
v2.02
Score : 4.5 tolerable
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leprochaun
Peasant He/Him Japan bloop
Responsible for making things not look like ass 
As I played Sour Gummy Worms I often felt as if Skurn was sitting upon my lap facing me and his face was crawling with variously colored gummy worms. Every now and then Skurn would lean into my ear and whisper very romantically "Hail skruin.". And I don't know why, but for some reason I felt obligated to cringe and with light aggravation reply with, "Stupuid Fnaatacs!.". At this point Skurn would back away slowly and he'd rip part of his gummy worm face off and stick it into my mouth while making fart noises with his face-crevice. The face-gummy is more sour than limoncello- and that stuff is quite sour. Now, that's enough about where the title comes from. Let's get onto to game aspect of this.

First off, I'll talk about the map. It's quite bland. There are no decorative sprites at all. My only guess is that Skurn wanted to forgo worldly possessions- finding them restricting on the soul and freedom of the Dmod. The tile placements are unnatural to say the least. Often times the tiles make very little sense. This is clearly the work of a genius I couldn't hope to understand fully. My only guess would be that the nonsensical nature of the tiles was meant as a way to force players into imagining something better. Something of such awe and wonder that this Mr. Skurn character would become akin to a God to us. Anyways, that's enough about the map.

The story of the game is something the average human couldn't begin to comprehend. A dolphin might be able to, but not a human. It creates this sense of realism between our indescribable lust to be dink and our seemingly obvious desire to get Skurn to stop making bad Dmods. Skurn seems to have naturally tapped into our subconscious desires. It's very hard to tell though, because the language used is so broken and messy that you'll never know whether you fully understand the meaning behind it or not. When all is said and done and you've beating the whole thing, you will uncontrollably voice "My god, what brilliance". But that's enough about the story.

Moving onto the game play aspect. Skurn had set the bar pretty high with his previous masterpieces such as Long Dmod Name, Dink and the Chins, and Pokemon: Bible Version. All outstanding mods that will most assuredly stand the test of time. Yet, somehow- he manages to surpass them. And should you combine the game play of all three of those mods together, Sour Gummy Worms would still stand on a pedestal well above them. Reaching heights even the Everest of Mediocrity is scared to climb.

And lastly yet definitely the most important aspect is the music. Personally I played the game muted, but one with any player who has sanity held within their inventory must assume that an individual with a mind such as Skurn's must have made a game with a score so epic that aliens light years of light years away were tearing up from whatever form of eyes they doth possess.

Well, either that or...
The map is the work of a madman and Skurn should be institutionalized- or perhaps just given that toy babies are given. The one where they have to fit shapes into the correct holes.
The story being nothing but the ramblings of poor delusional teenager who possesses issues with self-esteem.
The game play being the Dmod's sole redeeming quality.
And the music- well I didn't listen to it so I've naught to say on that matter.

Truly no better example of a Dmod worthy to be both enjoyed or despised, and maybe on occasion both, hath ever existed.